God Has Smiled On Me…
Sunday Morning Reflections of the Not-Quite-So-Sick-and-Shut-in:
I was just having a conversation, in which the other party mentioned that I look better than some 30’s. Cool with me. Who doesn’t want to hear flattering things on a Sunday morning (heck any day of the week) when their sinuses are standing up and claiming new land in the name of infection and all that. But specifically I took/take joy in the irony that is involved with having a relationship with God.
Here it is… I am in the worst shape of my life, physically, (yes, I can admit that… lol. That’s the first step to addressing a problem, or, so I’ve been told) yet everywhere I turn folk are telling me how good I look and really… although I disagree… it’s not an argument I want to win… really… LOL
‘Cause what I do understand is that although I take issues with the physical imperfections of my body, God still shines through me from the inside out and that is what is reflected for all to see. So … yeah. I’ll take it.
Anyway, what I was working towards, was that in my response of thanking the party for noticing that God has smiled on me… I was taken to a flashback of my fourteen year-old self… still fresh off the “banana boat” as they say… in Springfield Baptist Church in Washington, DC on a Sunday morning, marveling at the difference in worship music as the choir and congregation sang the chorus of a song by the late Rev. James Cleveland filled with…
words still unknown to me…
words that I grappled to learn…
that spoke …
to my head …
and which my heart…
did not yet understand:
God has smiled on me
He has set meee free-ee-ee
God has smiled on me
He’s been goo-oo-ood
To me!
At fourteen I could not yet grasp that truth… for my world was a miasma of new experiences, new thoughts and a constant struggle to combat homesickness, the onset of bipolar disorder, and learning the rules of a new land and a new way of schooling.
Again it was the embodiment of the saying, “be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.”
I had what I wanted.
I was once again reunited with my mother. We were living in the same country, state and apartment. However, she was no longer the same person my six year old mind recalled. Yearly visits at Christmas were really not long enough to discern a change in attitude… and heck what did a six, seven or eight year old know about that… it was all about.. “can I sit in your lap, I’m not that heavy,” “what’d you bring me?” “a whole American $20 bill… just for me?”
So there I was in the midst of living my heart’s greatest desire since age six…
conflicted
challenged
excited
lonely
depressed
curious
absorbed
musically intrigued
homesick
guilty
angry
disconnected
creative
solitary
suicidal
Music was my salvation. The curiosity of the new form of music (gospel) was enough to keep me around. I couldn’t wait for Saturday Youth Choir rehearsal. I of course, (along with all the other girls in that 13-17 group) had a crush on the Youth Minister of Music… he was fresh outta college and cute as heck. He also was quite gifted musically and many of our songs were his original creation. *sigh* Cute and gifted too? LOL
Being forced to sing the high soprano note (when I was a Soprano II with lazy Alto tendencies) was not so much a struggle anymore. The sopranos were on the first row… LOL.
Then came another fabulous experience, school choir. As my peers grumbled and groaned at the choices of songs and the fact that they only joined the choir to obtain an easy A, I secretly cut my eyes at them (the equivalent of the American eye-roll… but more evil looking.. lol) and kept my joy to myself. I basked in the joys of hearing harmony from nonsensical ditties to contemporary songs like The Long and Winding Road (song which won us first place in the regional championships) or Christian based songs like Dona Nobis Pacem (God give us Peace)… I ate it all up.
Finally, I decided I wanted to learn an instrument. All my other siblings had had piano lessons back home, but the piano never seemed to thrill me… I chose guitar lessons.
I got those guitar lessons and grudgingly practiced. I guess folk forget to mention all the hours of practice involved in getting good at that. So, uh… no virtuoso playing over here. However, gimmie a book with some chords and a few days practice and I can accompany myself without embarrassment.
This was the time of 8 tracks, records and 45’s. I would sit afterschool and listen to my favorite songs, over and over… picking a part and tracing it all throughout the song, replay it, pick another part and do the same thing, till I’d sung the Soprano, alto and tenor parts. I still do that today, however, that’s usually when I’m learning a song to teach to my youth choir.
So… yes. God smiled on me through my love of music. So wherever you are in your life right now, whatever your situation… please know that God is smiling on you right now. He is being good to you even though your circumstances prevent you from seeing it… but if you open up your mouth and begin speaking positively to your situation… He will elevate you to the point where your spiritual eyes will begin to see… the form or shape His smile takes in your life and you will begin to experience the goodness already prevalent. It can be done, however your participation is necessary.
You can start right now by repeating these words with me. (If I can find a link so that you can hear it, I’ll post it…) but right now, open up your mouth and begin to speak truth to your situation…
God has smiled on me
He has set meee free-ee-ee
God has smiled on me
He’s been goo-oo-ood
I say:
He’s been good
Everybody now:
He’s been good
Last time:
He’s been good
To me!
Amen!